Building a life with someone is kind of like building a piece of furniture. The type of furniture you are building though is up to you.
Your first choice is to build Ikea furniture. It's cheap(ish), you can load it up in your car and take it home. You can even likely put it together yourselves. You know all the pieces you'll require are in the box, but there aren't really great instructions. All you're given is a few pictures of what it should look like at each step.
How does the Ikea furniture translate into your life as a couple? Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl fall in love. They get married. Have a few kids. Maybe get a dog. Maybe in a different order. Spend 40 years apart, working at their own jobs. And then they hope in the end they can come back together and have this beautifully constructed life, marriage, friendship... legacy.
So often that isn't the case though. They struggle as they try to figure out what piece goes where with what nuts and bolts... heaven forbid you have to try to figure out how to use a cam-lock or a dowel! OH and don't forget that Ikea furniture also includes extra pieces that leave you wondering at the end if you've missed something important along the way!
The second option is having a custom-built piece of furniture constructed. It's not as cheap, and it will take longer, BUT -- you get to design it. You will decide what materials are to be used, what colour you want it to be, what shape, and how it will function. The best part is that this custom piece of furniture is likely something that you will be able to pass from one generation to the next. Because it was built to last.
When you think of building a custom-designed life it may appear similar from the outside looking in. Boy still meets Girl. Boy and Girl still fall in love. But then something different may happen. Boy and Girl share values. They cast a vision for what their dream life looks like. They carefully plan their marriage instead of just their wedding day. They enlist the help of people who have gone before them that have built a custom-designed life. They make conscious choices every step of the way to ensure that the actions they are taking are putting the pieces together that will eventually be that great piece of furniture to last for generations to come.
So what's the difference between ending up with an Ikea life/marriage and a custom-designed one? Choice. Investment. Influence. If you want a custom-designed life you should consider investing in it. Determine your values, with your spouse or partner if you have one, and then earn the influences of people around you who have achieved what you want to achieve. Make decisions based on your values. Follow a road map laid out by people futher down the path. Wash -- Rinse -- Repeat.
If you're looking to create a custom-designed life, we can help you! Check out our Services for Personal Coaching, or Couple's Coaching and book a complimentary call!
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